Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Not Allowing Fear

I am simply not going to allow myself to spend time in a state of fear.

There is no possible connection between safety and spending time in a fearful state. I plan to look at fears as abstractions, not as things to be experienced. Every time a fearful thought arises, it simply becomes part of an intricate database of how I respond to things, things I believe, and other facts about the world. My maximum safety comes from being as rational as possible regarding how I spend my time. Dwelling in a state of fear is a complete waste of time.

But is my dwelling in a state of fear (or not) a matter that is under my willful control?

When I think back to recent experiences of dwelling in a fearful state, I remember feeling that I did not have control. Is it possible to have a concept which, when remembered, bestows control of fear upon a person? I need not be afraid. A fearful being is not a safer being than a calm one. I don't need to fear loss. There is nothing I can lose or gain, except things which I have had and not had at different times. Were the times when I did not have them really worse or less good than the times during which I had specific things? Maybe not.

Clarity and peace are things I don't always have. It is hard to admit that having them is no better than not having them. Maybe if you spent so much time in clarity and peace that it got boring, a little fogginess and violence might be welcome. I think Hindu cosmology affirms that idea. The one great being is ever and always resting in complete ease. Part of that ease is the knowledge of pitiful, struggling human lives, close up, from the inside, from start to finish. In the midst of your pitiful, struggling life, you are aware of God in God's heaven. And God is aware of you. There is no separation between you and God. Our (Christian) image of God is precisely the same, if you think about it long enough.

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